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Life's had always been a drama. Too much of a drama indeed that I got real sick of it. Had always been a rollercoaster ride for me, having sudden unexpected climax and in another second, it might just drop to 0.5degrees. Thats just life. Live it to the fullest and remember not to expected too much, the fall might just be an unbearable one.

Fashion is my passion. Photography is the accomplice. Honesty is my living principle.
I ♥ him
Music

happiness in a box
Friday, December 28, 2007

Contemplating wad might go further. Gawt! 2008 in 3 days time? how scary would it be? Haa, should i look forward to it with a whole lists of my new resolutions or continue to be infested by "pests"(if u noe wad i mean) and go on with life like a muddle-tard, carrying along my fucking habits and be that same,old me? Oh my, i stil cant believe 2008 is so near to me. Seems so alarming luh. People always believe to set new resolutions and well stick to it. Tt was Crap, for all i noe. It always happen like tis i realised, pple set a whole fucking endless lists of wad they would want to have and change for a better self.. But Ask urself, did u follow dem closely at all, or u were same as me, shun-ning it away in a cloistered corner of your mind membrane? Where when tok abt it, u hardly had any idea and it seems unbelievable that it was set by you months ago. Well, thats was exactly wad i am like. So, im not in tt particular mood and tt craziness to create a big HOO HAA abt tat fucking new year. And, im not one to create tt madness endless resolution lists which never ends at till the next universe. LOL. Therefore, I set to limit

myself to only one. And tt is, CAREER or Studies! And a lil wish

for the following year, i too limit to only one, HEHs, Not being greedy alrite.
And its Romance. (: Everyone seems so blissful in love luh, *well,
most of my frens are! Imma left on the shelf for long! Sighs. U might feel like im toking a whole bunch of nonsense but hey, those attached wun deciphers how i feel at all, knoe like its gud to snuggle into someones arms and a someone to turn to when things burst out and turned in the wrong way. Yes, no girls wouldnt love pampering and dote. Im a girl too, so its of all natural platform tt i feel tis way. i admit. its like so long of dawling abt, sometimes i just wonder shld i gave up to go for other guys. GAwt. Nth seems better with all tis shiat loneliness, feeling isolated agains, drawing myself out of tt loophole, i gonna be fine, i reassured. i am fucking lonely when nights come by, it seems hard to fall aslp.

SAd.

yes, i had another yest affair with eyes pinning at my lappy screen. Yeah, tts how scary when schedule deadlines rilly became urgent. U just had no time more to lose, every mins and secs were extremely impt and nothin in ur mind seems to reflect other image, u wun want to have thoughts about going out now. Like me, i am so busy busy tis few days and weeks tt i hardly missed dummie, and i had keep myself off msg-ing him every now and then. I simply had no time for it.

Gawt. Even christmas was not well celebrated. I was at home. sighs. Christmas always made me want to.. u noe gather and snuggle at some BFF's house and had a mini party of exchanging pressies under the dim lighted christmas tree. Sighs, Yes. to be honest, it had never happened b4 after some donkey years. And for a million reasons, i missed tt kind of Christmas. I am switching to loving peaceful christmas from the ever-noisy town celeration. But i dun have tt kind of celebration party anymore. Like i have close friends but they wouldnt done up with tis kind of thing or they simply cant be bothered luh. Its like so fun setting a budget to the gifts and exchanging upon balloting, it seems so much meaningful to me. Like u would go particularly to get tt pressie, efforts put into kind. But well, its okay luh, just not in tt particular luck to have such fwens. )':

Christmas was more of a mind-imploding session spent in my room as I was fuelled by lethal shots of boredom and under the stifling pressure of the environment to shut the hell up. Only lunch time and dinners seem irrefutably comfortable to me, at least. I could rest only within tt slot. Noe wad, yest affair-yup.. with different image and colors painted in my mind, i slept only when the clock hits 5am!! tts the limit. Couldnt take it further, i pop-ped into bed. And the next day will be up at 7 plus. Fucking crazy rite, and yes, pls stop irritating me these few days, im rilly not in the mood further, throwing tantrums at home - guess its the result of insufficient sleeps, it do drive pple crazy sometimes. I was rather astounded by my recent ability of my body to be able to withstand the long hours focus at doing something. I swear, but i had never ever stayed up til 5 plus, oh it truly was a record man. When i abruptly shifted myself to my bed, preparing to nap, lights outside my room shoned tru the gaphole underneath the door, i had den realised daddy and brother had woke up. Apparently, they were all preparing themselves for work and personal commitments. I had then bring myself to realise how "early" the time was at that moment. Like im gng to sleep and my rest are waking up. Oh gosh, im seeing colors and images again, in my dream! Shiat! Im infesting my eyes to such torment.

sighs, gues due to the lifeless days, where its all hectic.. im reverting to my constant eating behaviour. Nothin seems better congesting my stomach with more and more food, snacking here and there. Im fatter now. ): By *kgs. sighs. Shed off, shed off, shed off the dumbass fat tissues away from my body. ARGhh. I was redeemm-ing myself from the sinful acts by assuring myself that i will exercise to kill dem all off the next day. Tts pretty comforting huh? but it serves no purpose, just to make myself feel better after e sinful indulgence. LOL.

Thoughts seem to meander like a wind. Ahh. wad am i thinking?

i hope january end fast! am alr looking ahead beyond january. For ending of jan is my last paper, and im an official graduate, it cuts an ending point to my education perhaps? haha(*who noes rit). My ultimate wish now is for everything to turn better. like all projects and exams and mugging.... All stop. Im so tired of studying! the sudden lethargic when my final phrase is able to complete in like one mth time. And.. toking abt exams, i hadden laid my hands on any modules yet, and yea. im freaking damn guilty abt it. Fuck! my 2 weeks break seem to just gone off like tis. Im feeling more and more like a nutCASe. Argh. a Non-productive one.

Ending off my super friggin long post before i land myself with a thud under my com desk. Hmmmm.

I am so used to using 'imma' which refers to 'I am' LOL. i dunnoe why but my fingers just seemed obediently typing 'imma' when i am thinking abt 'I am'. well, it just my form of calling my words i guess. Dummie says imma corny using tis word. LOL. Please. And and Stop teasing me pls, with so much a nicknames u created. he just called me spicy potato chips cos i told him i love love tanning. and i just went weeks ago. Ha. And whats up with the snow white thingy! im Black princess OKAY. As strong! snow white seems sickly to me luh. oh, hell crap.

Now, the time is 8 plus in e morning! Preeps, im off to bed again! . tata. ):

PS: Amanta babe, am so so so sorry abt procastinating our meetups, like always. I haven got the least time and energy to crawl out. Hope u understand. ((: Its okay if i just leave my stuffs at ur side first. Its not of a hurry for me to collect. Yep. Andd. i rilly owe u tis time. Sorry babe. LOVE U!

8:17 AM

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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

imma extremely wore-out. Drained.
i wonder wad pple nowadays are up to. Oh man. Sighs. it split my mood up into a thousand pieces. I cant say the name of this fella here. But he truly take my last hope of miracle away. sighs. Okie, enuff of all dat.

Crazy! i think i am. Now the time is like 4.48am and im up see-ing alot of images in my eyes. Gawt. Forget it. i hope some miracle exists again, in my case pls.. even for the last time i hope. FYP! thundering!. ):

And oh ya, i hadd a sweet sweet Xmas. (:
Tho it was a short one, i felt sweetness surrounding. The feeling was super super gud. Like so long i do not have tis sensation of the 'Butterflies in the stomach' kinda of thing. Haa. its feels all so new.


YEs. i Caught NT2. A rilly gud show i must say (ive watched the 1st one too), WAtch it guys! Oh my, u wun believe how wonderful is the queue luh.


Like endless! gawt. My alvin and the chipmunks seems to be hopeless(i so wanna watch too. :'( ), its selling off fast! *Dreads! (x (haha, dummie is still picking up the tactic of doing tis face.. its so easy luh. just squeeze ya eyes tgt. Haa). Randomly, he told me he tried.. looking into the mirror and do as i told. i was like... LOL. How silly and cute he was luh.. if he luk into the mirror and squeezed his eyes, how would he actually be able to see the mirror and noe he's wrong in doing if he squeeze his eyes completely? Haa, well. u'l laugh if u catch the drift? HAAA. teeHee!

i was wearing the blue dress i got from amanta and dummie, he wore a blue shirt with a thin dark blue tie. OMG! TOTALLY SuaVe tt day, gee! And noe wad, we wore the same shade of blue outfit without even discussing.. tts like so funny luh. We both gave tt exchanged awkward look! LOL. and ended with a shy smile away. Hmmmm.. Like some couples on their 1st date luh.
On the later, i went over to clarke quay fer dinner @waraku - jap casual dining restaurant. Preeps, u gotta chk tis out. Its super super nice can, nice ambience, nice food, nice wine.. and nice friends too, how to give it a miss rite? LOL. (:

I enjoyed myself, but not as much as compared to e past, the enjoyment i felt.. seems to be depleting, year by year. No sudden eagerness for the festive, Not much looking forward. Gues, im geddin old to be counting down. I din countdown.. tis year. Not particularly in the interest. Hmmmmm.

I am a real procastinator of life! arghss. My major expertise! lol.

Alrite preeps, if i go on. my eyes would caught up with the computer screen. Time to hit the sackk.

And yes, i send out a mass christmas msg to my beloved friends. (: wel, if u din receive it, i hereby i wish u all a BELATED

MErry Christmas. [:
LOVE!
4:44 AM

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Twirls & Swirls.


Prepared lunch fer 4 today. Haaa, Pretty satisfied thou! din rilly follow any recipe but i add stuffs i feel like and it turns out nicee. Nice cold weather with some hot spagetti? How nice rite, ive had mine, have u? Tryy itt. (:



Vege Mushroom Spagetti Recipe (serves 4)




Est.Prep: 30mins
Est.Cook: 1 hr
Total: 1 hr 30mins

Ingredients:





  • 1 pkt Angel-hair Spagetti

  • 3 tablespoon of Olive oil

  • 2 cloves of garlic, chopped

  • 1 medium sized red onion, sliced (preferably in thin twirls, use green onions if u want less spicy)

  • 3 medium sized potatoes, boiled and cut in cubes

  • 1/3 carrot, boiled and cut in thin slices

  • 4 sausages

  • 2 ripe fresh tomotoes, halved

  • 1 can button mushrooms

  • 1 medium jar mushroom flavour Spagetti sauce

  • 1 small can tomato puree

  • 1 small can tomoto paste, mixed with 3 cans of water

  • Parsey (quantity on your own liking)

  • salt

  • pepper to taste

  • Tasbasco sauce

  • 1 pkt of parmesan cheese

Directions:

1. Boil Spagetti in half pot of water, add a pinch of salt. Then, in a mixing bowl, mix spagetti sauce, tomato puree and tomato paste and leave it aside.

2. Meanwhile, in a large pan, heat olive oil and fry garlic till slight brown-ness. Add onions and continue frying till fragrant. (tis is where the aroma comes out)

3. Add the boiled potatoes, carrots (cos tis two items are hard to soften, you have to boil it off 1st. (: ) and fry lightly. Throw in button mushrooms, tomatoes and sausages and fry at medium heat.

4. Stir in the mixed sauces in instruction 1 and continue cooking on low heat. Now, check the spagetti, it would be ready when it's all dispersed in the boiling water, leaving to a spungy state. Scoop up the spagettis to the individual plates.

5. Back to frying, cover lid and let it simmer for awhile. Add parsley and continue stirring. Lastly add pinch of pepper and drops of TASBASCO sauce.

6. Serve with parmesan cheese. Enjoy!!

11:00 PM

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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Initial plan was to go jiawei hse fer a small little gathering but it was later cancelled. the rest planned to cook at his hse and have lunch together. Wweell, i tot it would be rather fun to cook tgt with friends as i haven done it before and esp on tis kind of cold rainy days, wads better to snuggle at a fren's place and tok whole day rite? HAa, anyway, its rather okayy. I proceeded with my another plan.

Yeah. i went CWP to have lunch with dummie. he msged me last nite and i told him i could go if gatherings at jiawei's was cancelled.

Caught up with him finally. Haa. gosh.his face was super black like charcoal, seriously..(if u see it, Omggg) due to the means of waiting? Ahhhh.. A zillion apologiess!


and.. i went to ask him where he wanna dine in? he said 'guess...' .... i practically name all the restaurants and cafes and even foodcourts in CWP but none hit his mind. Oh my, wads up with tt secretive smile, joel? LOL. he merely reply with a 'Ohhh, nope, not going to tell you. Its a secret!' I was like.... Hokays. And up the levels of escalator we took, finaalie ended outside Crystal Jade. den he told me, 'hey.. tadang. we are dining here!' LOl. and he ended with his cheeky smile. HAAA. tts kinda of a surprise fer me la? Since he promised to bring me to some nice fooddd after my recovery. YAY! So darnn full can. preeps.. Now, i'll show u some pics tt'll make u really really hungry! X) haaa. yeah. imma evil! Gawt.









Are u drooling over there yet? I bet u r!!! TeeHeeHEe! my fav is nevertheless still, the ha Gao. Its heavenly yummylicious! (: Fer dummie, its gotta be cha siew bao and the yam pastry. He loves breadd, pastry and buns hell lot! yea. Hmmmmmm.. Awwwww.. he grew skinnier. the image of his backview ached me. seems like he had been suffering in NS, leading to a super weight reduction. Tts how crazy it is, how good if it applies to us women too huh? Slim at a real fast rate!! LOL. his distincive figure now as compared to months b4, tts like 2 diff person.

We did some super-marketingg, yeahh. AGAIn. Suddenly, not meeting up fer 2wks seems to widen the gap further, we seem less chirpy, less words. Yea, and the silence between just serves to create the awkwardness within. Its not tt im not listening to u, but my mind seem focus on some other things. And he told me tt we're gng home after tis. My mood sanked. It added a super heavy loadd somehow. Like im just coming for a mere 2 hrs and am home. I din rilly fancy tt idea.

Andd.. NO CAKE. Did he totally forget abt it ? or tt day he said to me was merely just to cheer me up? Sighs. Fugging disturbed.

Digressing, I totally dun understand whats rilly between us Now? No more. Im tired, weary and unfocus.

Am i just trying too hard? Ahh. ROARS. Please leave me alone, let me struggle solitarily.

Bye all.

5:00 PM

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Monday, December 10, 2007

And finally, ive recovered after .... uncountable sleeps, endless drowning of water and 2 wks of porridging every single meals. Im back in a piece. Oh, the feeling of sick is so unbearable. but wel, am fine now. Stool report is back too, everything is normal.

Hehs. apart from dat, nothing fantastic rilly happen thou. Sometimes, i wonder, i reflect. So much so that i feel imma always occupied with stuffs, but seriously at the end of the day when i had nothin to do and perhaps resting, thoughts would gather to what have i really done and achieve so far? i barely able to answer sucha question. Yeah, perhaps.. studying and more studying and wad does it really bring me to? Am i rilly studying for the sake of tat DAMn certificate which seriously i think its a dumbest thing ever to be invented! for people of lower capabilities ive seen, like ITE and such, they could earn the same amount and by the time i graduated, like say next feb, they might have climbed ahead of me. Earning a much higher pay. Grrrrr..

Fuk, suddenly imma complaining abt this darn life so much. Am not u noe, but i bet alot of pple feels the same way as i do. my friends does, we came to chat abt this topic some time ago. All out of nth, i feel that imma wasting my time but i shld not adopt this unhealthy feeling, for the certs is still impt (*thou its just tt damn shitty paper) I wanna start working. rilly. am super tired of studying. rilly tired. lost the motivation to study. wel, thou am in my final year. Looking back at my year 1 period. Oh, tt i managed to attain tt remarkably high GPA had well extinct. I duno but it just crafts a heartache tt im not working hard enuff after that GPA record. it has dropped so much tt i landed myself on a thud. ): I think i just hit a huge rock! damnit! kicking me to an awaken mode, gues i nid to do something to myself, rilly. After all this fooling ard, nid to get some serious work done, am telling myself to hold on, this is the last race and i must finish it, i must and will perserve! Exams round the corner again. ZzzzZzz.

Buck up pls, karen!

Feel like slapping myself, my nua-ing had turned horrendous. My whole room looks like a pig sty now. Super packed with stuffs here and ther, and mummy gonna cry if i shout for stuffs i cant find again. LOL. Going to pack it this week. YES! imma. dun ask me why. and im so gonna start studying this weekend too. Yup.


Life is never satisfied. Life is just full of shits. Fugging annoyed but wad to do. And speaking abt tt, im gonna go voting soon next year. my mind spells DREAD. )":

and ya, pls take care, weather has turned cold my dear friends, wear a coat or two if you're feeling cold! (:

dummie msg me alr. happi. He says he's fixing me my cake tis wkend. so hes coming my hse fer dinner. Yup. ohh, its been 2wks ive not seen him (:
9:19 PM

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Monday, December 03, 2007


Aint it adorable? Well, it made me luff, tts gd rite? TEEheEehEE, it released my stiff tension for a lil while. my sick days were rather extended. ):

TERRIBLE! I SHOUT TERRIBLE. Goddam. I seemed to be feeding myself with lethal dosage of suppressed anger, tts really cant be helped, all unwanted stuffs just added on to my sack. Walking like a boneless skeleton, it was so bad my head giddyness had turned to, dat i woke up tis morning and fell Twice on the floor. Helpless, i tried struggling myself tru, pulling myself up, but futile-ness! I hadden got the least energy left, left with no choice, waited fer mum to lift me up.





I TOTALLY FELT PARALYSED!

AM STARTING TO FEEL LIKE SOME USELESS BRAT,
sighs.

AND TT WAS RILLY CRAP. FUK


my life's struggling hard. the diarherro-strained me. POOF. went fer doctor again earlier tis morning. And GUESS WHAT? Yeah, right.




A TOTAL NEW SETS OF MEDICINES.

INTESTINE INFECTION

I NEED TO COLLECT MY STOOL FOR EXAMINE

WELL. MC x 2days.


i'l show u in a while, the tonnes of medicines im taking now.

How challenging? I wanna cry, seriously, i hate medicines. Am feeling like a drug addict man. A total of 4 medicines today. Debridat (gastritis medi), panadol, famotidine, Lactoforte (oh, tis sucks.. to be mixed with water, simply sucks!)




MEDI. ITS A FRIGGIN DISGUST!
yeah i noe, tts alot to finish.




Another thing, doc mentioned that i have insufficient sugar intake. so he want me to buy h20 original isotonic drink to boost my sugar level. yeah, superr frigging dreadful. NO chicken, no pork, no meat, no oily stuffs fer me. Doc warned mum to feed me just porridge for all 3 meals. ARGGghhHHhh. And and, mummy is cooking all delicious dishes tis few days.. AWWWwwww.

Home-ed whole day, i played with facebook. And its kinda of fun in a way. Add me if u do have facebook, Hee.thanks.

He's stil not msg-ing me. Its pilling up at the back of my head, perhaps tts the reason for my slow recovery.? sighs. i must be too dependent on him i gues. I wonder hows he doing and wad is he thinking now. DREAD!

On another note. PS: to my lovely friendss..




please bring me for some nicee glorious food after im finee.

OH please!! bring me to my Fav food.

TeeheeHee!

am superr deprived of food.

Grrs. of NICE FOOD i meant.

wad i ate, it came all outa.

):


I missed sch!

it was so darn sweet dat pple just came and show constant concern. Imma feeling a lil better alr after uncountable hours of sleep. THanks preeps! U all r real lovely. Really appreciate dat. (:

Last thing, HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO SHAWN, my beloved brother.
i'l get ur Tee or Haivanaiss flops fer u real soon.
Or a treat from me. (:
He has taken good care of me always. Esp during my sickkly periods.
I love u, brother.

time for medicines. tata!
4:51 PM

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